But this time

But it wasn't the same this time. I should have just stood there, bearing it all, ignoring it all. Things should have gone the way they always did; but the stars no longer aligned the usual way and fates were bound to be different this time. I remembered those teachings which used to accompany daily hair oiling. Mother made sure there wasn't an issue she left uncovered; patience, compromise and tolerance were the three key words. "Is it necessary mum?" I always used to ask her. "(It's) what defines you" came the answer instantly. The winds were always strong at this point, like they wanted to teach me the song of strength and rebellion which they sang. The birds would go renegade choosing to defy the Sun. But mother said I wasn't made for it, "We" aren't made for it. The birds flew high in sky and dogs fought over the only piece of bread. But all these scenes were made to mean only one thing for me, "not for you". Those words stuck with me for so long, but today, they seemed to have gone astray, rather run away in fear. Fear of what was coming, for which mere words weren't going to be enough. They were right. I could only offer as much resistance as silver would to electricity. I was standing still, but the turmoil would soon send these vegetables in action. I had usually imagined myself in chains, made it easier for me to believe I couldn't do anything, that I was helpless. An occasional glance at people around me made it easier to resist the temptation. Asking was the fruit of Eden I was forbidden to eat. Those people only made me fear for them, for I would make them perish because of me. The point is I would generally stop. But it wasn't the case this time, the train had left the station, the bull had left the stable, the arrow had left the bow. There was no stopping. I delayed any action that could occur. Why shouldn't I? All those years of conditioning and molding, they were meant for this very day right? So that no questions were asked and no voices were raised? Do as taught and the rest doesn't exist? I felt an immediate existential crisis as the teachings of my lifetime betrayed me as I swayed to the dark side. But the mantle was strong, and core, true. Doing anything would contradict everything, kill the very reason I was made into this world; but the storm inside insisted something had to be done. As the thought lingered in my mind the breeze tried to cool the heat of the forge. I turned around to see the half-open window. The house in front was surprisingly calm as it glowed with colours of warmth and care. So was this it? It had all been going to the wrong address all this time? Who was I kidding. They were never meant to be shipped to this address. The lack of restraints were proving to be a problem. The urge for the forbidden fruit only grew stronger with time. The window flew open completely and hit the wall. So this was it? No more thinking, no more fighting, no more questioning. This, was the answer. This, was it.

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